Would Postman Pat Be ‘Postperson’ Patricia & Have Preferred Pronouns In 2018?

Childhood used to be such a simpler place, in which women didn’t have penises, men were not wimpy soy boys, and Monica Lewinsky was still a young budding intern full of hopes and dreams…

A little piece of our childhood died recently, when Postman Pat creator John Cunliffe, also known for creating British children’s television programme ‘Rosie and Jim’, passed away aged 85 years old.

Mr. Cunliffe was the author of about 190 books for young children, including five volumes of poetry, as well as picture books and collections of stories.

Credit: Evening Standard

But with the children’s author’s unfortunate death, it got us thinking about the sad reality of kid’s today, and the propaganda that they are forced to endure in the playground and at school.

From frightening and grotesque 6 ft 4 drag queens reading them children’s stories, to sharing gender-neutral toilets with mentally confused cross-dressing boys. Now to say that childhood in 2018 is politically motivated and a minefield of political correctness is an understatement. In fact, the indoctrination is very apparent onto children today.

What ever happened to the good old days of little boys playing with ‘He-Man’ without being deemed as a mansplaining sexist bigot, or Barbie just being a long-legged glorified prostitute plastic doll, without being used as a form of feminist virtue signalling figurine to encourage little girls to freeze their eggs and weigh 28 stone.

Once upon a time, when genders were not confused, there was a man named Pat, and he was a Postman.

Credit: Sky News

Postman Pat, was a stop-motion animated children’s television series that first aired in the UK in 1981. It tells the story of Pat, a Royal Mail postman and his “black and white cat” Jess, as he delivers the post through the valley of Greendale.

A simple premise during a much more uncomplicated time. Pat delivered letters and parcels to his neighbours without the fear of offending and triggering anyone with his ‘sexist’ whistling as he quietly hummed the shows trademark song while driving through the untouched and picturesque British countryside.

You know, before multiculturalism turned the British countryside into something resembling the calais jungle. In fact, Pat didn’t have to worry about feral moped gangs stealing his post, or the fear of being splashed in the face with sulphuric acid by uncontrollable 13-year olds thugs.

Pat could probably go in and see his local GP without having to wait months to book an appointment because half of Syria had clogged up all the slots.

Credit: Youtube

Indeed, if Postman Pat was created today. He would most certainly be a gender-fluid, illegal migrant, pre-op transsexual (that sometimes identifies as a lesbian called Barry on the weekends).

He would also most certainty be a labour supporter, feminist and vegan who insists you use the pronouns ‘them’ and ‘they’, otherwise the only thing to get delivered in your post-box will be a court summons for ‘transphobia’ and hurt feelings.

Our thoughts and condolences are with John Cunliffe and his family, and we want to take this opportunity to say thank you for making our childhood a treasured and much more magical place.

Here’s to Pat completing his transition and becoming Patricia in 2025.


Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit: BBC

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