Kim Kardashian Shuts Down Countertop Cocaine Rumours

Good morning, good day or good evening to you, fellow early birds, hard-workers and insomniacs, now we’ve recently had the pleasure of avoiding Kim Kardashian for quite some time, but inevitably, we knew that the day would come once again, when she would make her annoying return to our news coverage. Sorry people… “Like O-M-G everyone!” – “So, cuuuuuteeeeee!”

So basically, whilst Kim Kardashian, 36, was Snapchatting away some promotional stuff for “Kids Drop” and other stuff that she’s selling, obviously only for the fun of it, as she was pushing these kids garbs, one viewer pointed out what really looked like two small lines of cocaine just languishing in the background on top of her kitchen counter.

Yes, unbelievable or does sh*t happen? Like on those off-days when you had some left over from the night before and you’re just like f*ck it, I’m finishing this for breakfast. Nobody knows, but it could be either of the two or three possibilities, but rather than put them on your cornflakes, a marble counter top is just as good a dish as any to give you that morning pep’, with or without coffee. Preferably without, most would say.

So, lets take a look at this fantastic “faux pas” as they say in those celebrity “fashionista” circles, and you get to see Kim Kardashian with her favourite flowery Snapchat filter, so come on, this is amazing news, right?!

Credit: KimKardashian/Snapchat

So, what do you think? Are those just two sort of messy, short and stubby lines of blow or is it just a coincidence? Could it just be sugar that fell onto the counter top or could it be, (dun-dun-dun), cocaine? Or some other substance? Nobody knows.

In hindsight, if it was cocaine then surely Kim could go a little harder, right? Well, Kim didn’t waste any time and she took to Twitter after realising that this cocaine rumour was really making waves and even the celebrity news circuit already. Such is life in these days of social media and Snaps and crap.

Credit: KimKardashianWest/Twitter

Sugar or cocaine? If it was just spilt sugar, it’s almost as if it spookily fell into the shape of two lines of cocaine, right? Somebody call an exorcist and right away, please!

We’re sure there’s bound to be a celebrity exorcist out there in Los Angeles on call 24/7, since when spooky ghostly stuff¬†like this happens, who else are ya’ gonna’ call? Ghostbusters!

Perhaps, it was only the ghost of Chris Farley, up to his old tricks again? You never know…

Who knows? But, we suppose there might be a new job for somebody in Calabassas, to join the Kardashian family in being their official Snapchat background checker? You know, to check if there’s like some rogues lines of blow or sugar in the back, or even if there’s not something inappropriate just laying around the house right behind you.

See, we even invented and found a new position for them to employ somebody into. God knows they can afford it. So, not a bad idea at all.

One twitter user wrote, “‘Ohhhhhh @KimKardashian caught out with cocaine .. durtayyyyy” and another responded, “Yea candy”.

So, there you have it folks. Kim Kardashian around midday in L.A. with some cocaine or sugar to just brighten up the day a little bit. No big deal! We’re glad that just happened and now people can carry on with their lives.

We wonder what Kim is doing right now? Probably talking about this latest social media crisis with mother Kris, in fact, we are getting a mental image right now, as if we’re some sort of Los Angeles Psychic medium or kindred spirit crossing over to the other side, just to tell them, very slowly and spiritually, “Just relax… Calm down… Everything is okay… Nobody gives a sh*t, really”

And with that, he was gone, disappearing through a wall just like that and then the Kardashian clan just continued on with their lives and everybody lived happily ever after. The end.

Brainstain, over and out!

<Story by The Narrator>

Featured Photo Credit: Daily Mail

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