Yesterday, was National Unicorn Day, the sparkliest and most magical holiday of the year. Well, it sure does beat the Easter Bunny and Zombie Jesus, anyway. There was an undeniable excitement in the air that glitter was literally sprinkling from the sky.
And what was there not to love about a day which celebrates glitter and heart shapes and all things nice? So what the hell is National Unicorn Day all about?
Is it a day when Syrian refugees can escape the airstrikes and chemical warfare that plague them and use their imagination to become multi-coloured majestic mythical winged horses and fly away from all their troubles and pain.
Or a day where feminists can spread their legs and shoot out rainbows as far as the eye can see? Actually forget that part; we certainly don’t want feminists spreading their legs anywhere near us, that could cause all sorts of problems.
Unicorns show no prejudice and discrimination and bring out the best in everybody, even if you’re an Islamic Terrorist that’s hell-bent on world destruction and colluding in bringing Sharia law to the fold.
Be yourself, unless you can be a Unicorn, then always be a unicorn. Right?
That seems to be the message, anyway. I guess being a Hillary supporter is just way too complicated for some? And plus, who wouldn’t want to be a fabled and magical creature anyway?
The unicorn in recent years has become a symbol for the far left, a multicultural mascot of sorts. Representing diversity, love, unity and all the other typical liberal “wishy-washy” propaganda that you would expect to hear at a Barack Obama speech.
Gays have also hijacked the Unicorn to spread their ”Gay Agenda” but then again, homosexuals have a tendency to mount untamed hung beasts anyway, so Grindr, anyone?
And, just to think it was only a few days ago that the Twittersphere were in mourning over the tragedy in Stockholm, in which a speeding lorry hijacked by a “failed asylum seeker” killed 5 innocent bystanders and maimed many-many more. But now, it’s just National Unicorn Day has come and gone and everything is fine again, so go back to your safe spaces, right? We mean, left!
I guess those prayers, hashtags and tea lights got the attention of the Unicorns, then? Unicorns, are here to elevate and lift us from our melancholy despair.
Unicorns fart rainbows, didn’t you know? Those Islamic Terrorists must be shivering in their burqas!
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Amazonaws